I am not chocolate ice cream.

Maybe you clicked expecting something satirical along the lines of, "comparing women to frozen treats is a terrible and dramatic example of promoting unrealistic expectations."

While a piece that would be hipster and ironic, you may be surprised to learn that I have literally been compared to ice cream by another human being. It was an innocent comparison, I think. It was not meant to be demeaning or offensive. I wouldn't have been offended at all if the compare-er in question hadn't used it in an attempt to excuse himself from responsibility for his actions. Chocolate ice cream rules.

It was quite a while ago, but the words still ring in my head once in a while, late at night when they'll pester me most. Something along the lines of, "It's like a little boy who's allergic to chocolate, and it's his favorite flavor. He LOVES chocolate, but he can't eat it. It's bad for him." The quote isn't exact, but it's close enough to convey the message that came across to me: I was chocolate ice cream, I was bad for him, it was all my fault.

As a young lady--Nope, doesn't quite cover it... As a young perso--Still no. Hm... Welp, as a human being in this day and age, my body gets compared to a plethora of inanimate and emotionless objects. While not precisely useless, chocolate ice cream is incapable of thoughts and emotions(no matter what those darned vegetarians say), and therefore cannot be blamed for the boy making choices that might hurt him or the ice cream. Nor is it comparable to me as the living, breathing, emoting creature that I am. But that isn't the only time I've had my body compared to food.

I once heard that if I lost my virginity for whatever reason outside marriage, no one would want my cupcake.

Teacher:"See this cupcake?"
Youth: "Yes."
Teacher: "Who wants it?"
-everyone wants cupcake-
-teacher licks cupcake-
Teacher:"Now who wants it?"
Youth: "Um, ew?"
Teacher: "That's right. If you have intercourse outside of marriage, will the kind of man you want to marry want to marry you? The answer is probably no."

That's an extreme version of the story that I heard multiple times growing up, but it makes my point: I've been compared to dessert too many times in my life as it is.

When I was a child, I was molested. Yikes, I know. While the above lesson and others like it may have been well intended, they did a lot of damage to my self esteem as a child. I was dehumanized, so it is unsurprising that being compared to chocolate ice cream might strike a nerve.

Three specific thoughts here:

I am worth no less because I was taken advantage of, nor would I be any less of a human being if I had willingly participated in the sexual contact. My cupcake looks delicious, thank you very much. Also, I am not a cupcake, and my sexual exploits are not actually a good measure of my worth as a person.

Second, objects do not work well as a metaphor for humans or their relationships: Your actions are yours to own, and it's not the ice cream's fault that the boy is allergic to it. It's still delicious. It has no say in whether or not the boy will choose to be around it or not... Or if he'll try to sleep with it, then feel guilty and throw blame all over the place in the form of bad metaphors.

Finally, I'm a young woman, a human being. I am not chocolate ice cream.